They: Are you married?
They: But You don’t look like it
Me: Why should I? (in my Mind)
Why being married is not enough for a woman, she needs to look married too. I am tired of such comments in the nearly four years of being married.
I believe Anything that is forced is not right.
I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet.
And I am not stopping anyone by following any tradition. you are free. You can do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.
I really do not understand, Why a married woman is supposed to look different? Her dressing style should shout out loud about her relationship status. Where there are no such restrictions for men? Why??
A married woman has to wear, Saari, Sindoor, Mangalsutra, bangles anklets and what not. What these ornaments have to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my husband? I have seen ladies adorning themselves with these jewels so proudly while their married life sucks.
During my wedding, I am forced to wear red lehenga however I always wanted to wear something different. Every single bride I have seen since my childhood has worn red or some shade of red. The lehenga I wore was heavier than my own body, I could barely move. The necklace was scratching my neck, the heavy earing was tearing my ears apart basically it was legit physical torture. why? why can’t I have a choice to wear whatever I like or at least i am comfortable in? it’s my wedding, not a community project.
In northern India, A married women have to wear Saree and jewelry on her leg, her head, her neck, her waist, and her ears. Fully decorated from head to toe. It’s so uncomfortable if you think practically for a second.
I was told multiple times to adorn myself in order to look like married women. It’s really funny. In India, Looking married is more important than being happily married.
Married women often face strict wardrobe restriction from family and society. Only because they’re married now. their choices are dead. How can married women dress as per her wish? After all, She has to represent the family. Whereas No such restrictions exist for these women’s husbands.
And If you question the cultural norms then comes the most irritating answer which is “Aisa Hi Hota Hai”.
I am not against these symbols but, as a woman and as a human, I believe it is absolutely wrong and foolish to judge someone on the basis of how they dress. everyone is different and so are their choices.
People who lecture about the culture and tradition of India must know that women enjoyed equal status with men in all aspects of life in the early Vedic period. they have the right to make their own choices. Women married at a mature age and were free to select their own husbands in a practice called Swayamvar or Gandharva marriage.that were the culture of India. Not like this era when women do not have the right to decide even the clothes for herself, forget about other rights?
If someone like these adornments we should not judge them it’s their choice and similarly if someone is not comfortable in something we must respect their choices as a responsible society and human beings.
Women should not follow the norms blindly. Ask questions if it doesn’t feel right. bother to know why such norms exist?
Also, in the last few decades, almost every aspect of our culture has gone through evolutionary changes? why should the post-marital look of a woman elected for such painstaking scrutiny?
I am always questioned about the lack of sindoor on my parting-line, bindi on my forehead, the absence of a Mangalsutra around my neck and anklets on my legs by friends and family. These questions range from polite to harsh. Such as Doing I not want to look married? Am I doing this to attract other men? Do I not love my husband enough? None of that is, true. It just shows the mindset of people that how desperately society wants women to behave in a certain way.
All I am doing is being myself, and any of such adornment does not fit my image of myself. I am not comfortable in those adornments.
A newly married woman is like mobile jewelry and clothes exhibition of the husband’s family. I am forced to dress in a certain way because, my god, what will people think of us? Your husband has nothing? And what about our culture, tradition, and beliefs?
Listen, I have never been a fan of complicated clothing. So, expecting that I would magically renovate myself after marriage is a bizarre idea. I don’t care. And I am not going to pass this legacy to the next generation.
My body is my sole authority. It’s my right. How I dress has nothing to do with my marital status and I just want to be comfortable.
Why should I have to put a dot my forehead or wear a beaded necklace to satisfy the world?
All I want to say is everyone must have the choice to dress as they want in spite of their marital status. Anything that is forced is suppressing and depressing, whereas choices are fulfilling and empowering.
For now, signing off until next post.
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